It is an open secret that words are powerful. For example, you would not tell a salesperson that you would not buy their product because it is substandard. Most probably, you would opt to say that you recently purchased a similar product. There is a big difference on how the recipient will hear the two statements. As decent human beings and professionals, we are sensitive people. The first statement would be reckless, damaging, and insensitive. The second one will be considerate.
The power of words
Similarly, we should not use damaging words when talking about our willingness or ability to do something that propels us to our goals. When you are talking about yourself, you tend to use words that inhibit or diminish your ability and your belief in your potential. These words greatly impact the confidence that others have bestowed upon you. These words directly affect the decisions you make and your actions.
The words you use–even if you don’t speak them out–say much about your attitude. As you might have learnt over the years, attitude is everything. It determines our achievements, our fulfillments, relationships, career and our undertakings in our lives. in your daily life, there are some things that seem out of control. For example, getting that promotion at your workplace, or closing that much-anticipated deal.
However, you have full control over the words you use, both unspoken and spoken. If you do that, you will be able to control your attitude towards everything, and your destiny is in your own hands. This is nothing better in this life than having control over your life. You can decide the people you date, your career success and other crucial things.
If you have a negative attitude towards a particular situation, chances are, you will use negative words towards that situation. This will be reflected on your decision-making and actions, towards that particular situation. If you use negative or limiting words, despite having a positive attitude, you can be sure that the outcome will be negative and unsatisfactory.
So, here are four words and phrases you should avoid using too frequently, in the wrong context.
1. Should and should not
You have heard people always saying you should do this or you should not do that. It is surprising that you tend to do the same thing with yourself. The truth of the matter is, there is nothing we should or shouldn’t do. It is all a matter of perception.
What you should know is always do the right thing, and something that you want or are willing to do. The moment you say you shouldn’t or should do something, you are already placing a judgmental value on it, which is not always the right decision. Always do the right thing.
2. Have to
It is important to understand that there are few things in life that you have to do. Staying healthy is one of them. Everything else that you do, since you have to do it, is setting yourself up for failure. For example, when you say that you have to start a business this year, you are putting yourself under pressure.
What happens when the business you are rushing to start does not pick up? You will be left with disappointments, thinking that you are not good at anything. Once you do what you want, you will have internal push and motivation, and you will see success. It is never a matter of life and death.
3. Can’t and can
If you can, then that is great. The question that follows is, will you? Can is a word that seems innocuous. However, what many people don’t understand is that it has some negative connotation. Come to think of it, just sit down and select something you always say you can do.
For example, you always tell yourself you can get funding for your business. What if you change that statement and say, you will get funding for your business. Although some will dismiss it is as mere semantics, there is a big difference when you say you can, versus when you say you will. Can is not a surety, it is simply an empty possibility that lacks action.
Moving on to can’t, when you say you can’t do something, what you imply is that there is no possibility of achieving a certain thing or you are not capable of doing it. This is wrong. What you imply is that, the moment you say you can’t, you won’t. Why don’t you change that and stop saying you can’t. The truth of the matter is, you can do something that you want. Additionally, what you want to do, you will.
What if the Wright Brothers said that it was impossible to fly? Some would argue that Gustave Whitehead was the first person to fly. Regardless of who invented these flying machines, someone had to have that belief. Someone had to believe that it could be done, and it was possible.
The moment we convince ourselves that there is a possibility of doing or achieving something, what follows is just finding a way, combined with action, and the impossible becomes a possibility.
You might face several obstacles and challenges before you taste success. However, once you put it into your mindset that it is impossible, then definitely it becomes so. According to Robin Sharma, you should dream big, start small and act now.
Life is not all about standing still. It is about moving forward. You might have moved into a house last year. At the moment, you feel that it is somehow small. You are always telling yourself that it is impossible to move into a bigger house, because you cannot afford rent. Who said you could not afford?
You just need to remove that impossibility barrier out of your mind and do what it takes to eventually move into that bigger house. Once you move in, you open yourself up to look for more income making opportunities, and a step forward in life.
If you want to step out of your comfort zone and do something with your life, the right time to get started is now. Just observe on how the above stated words holding you back from success pop into your mind. Find an alternative means of thinking and call them out.
Do not let any of them hinder you from achieving your goals, because you are destined for greatness.